Posted by: Kristy | May 5, 2009

Garmin. Garm-On. Garmine. Das Garminewurster.

So, you know that GPS unit Santa brought me for Christmas? Except it fell out of the sleigh or something so I didn’t actually get the GPS, I just received an empty box that formerly housed my father’s GPS and was told, “I’ll keep looking for it.”

Thanks, Daddy.

I guess it would be assuming to much to think that an electronic device created to help people find their way in the world would be unable to find its way into my grubby little paws. Did it get lost?

(I blame those pesky geographers. Psh, thinking you’re so smart with your technology in geography. 😉 )

Imagine my surprise, then, when I walked into my office the other day to find a little cardboard box emblazoned with a map depicting a cute little cartoon Matchbox race car happily traveling without hesitation or poor directions.

That soon could be me! So, as with any new toy, I had to try it pretty much immediately. Which means my new little friend helped me find the Panera that is less than 2 miles down the street so I successfully could buy my Fiji apple chicken salad.

Thank you, Garmin, I would have starved without you.

So, I’m playing with the features, changing every setting by which to achieve the ultimate directional experience. Bringing me to my favorite part — language.

Do I want to type in American English or British English? Do I want words to show up in Italian or French? And the the best:

What voice do I want it to use?

Oh, the possibilities.

The Amerian English one is annoying. Seriously, make her shut up!

The British English one is super fun — yay for cute accents! — but would be SO much better if it was a man. Is it sad that if my GPS had a British man’s voice I would drive around just to listen to it speak to me? I prefer to think it makes me cute and endearing.

Oooh, if it had an Australian accent I could pretend I was driving around with David Lyons. Yeah! Except then I never would stop driving. I would just make circles around the block. And though I would hear “turn left” what my overactive imagination would hear is “turn left, darling, straight into my arms”.

Ahem. I digress.

Then I hit the best one. It makes the stupid woman living in the little electronic box that much less annoying, I can understand it and I still get the directional assistance I need — as well as providing that road tripping quirkiness.

If you come on the road with me, be prepared to be spoken to auf Deutsch.

Because “Biegen Sie nach rechts ab” is so much more fun to hear over and over than is “turn right … turn right … recalculating … turn left.”

See, if my GPS was male and Australian I could pretend this was living in the little silver box on my dashboard:




  1. Hehe! I’m snorting with laughter right about now, picturing you drooling over an automated Australian GPS man. Love it. Never stop blogging. 🙂 And yes, you are quirky and endearing.

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