Posted by: Kristy | April 8, 2009

Writer’s Workshop: Pretty convinced Robert Frost wants me for an intern.

I’m jumping on the mental stretching machine and taking Mama Kat’s writing challenge for the week. (I just discovered her awesome randomness earlier this week. Keep your eyes peeled for a future Shout Out Saturday pointed right at her piece of the blogosphere.)

The prompt: What is an unpleasant experience you had eating? Write a poem, paragraph or something else about the experience. (

For a change of pace, here’s a lighthearted attempt at poetry. Please note before reading that I do not take my poetry seriously, which is how I can share it with you. Also, I’m writing about one of the most embarrassing things to happen to me on a date in my adult life, so show some love — no picking apart my meter or anything, kay? Good deal.

Also, I’m not sure why but I always remember this night when I think of poor dining and embarrassing events … and it’s pretty tame as far as embarrassing moments in my life. I have a lot of those. I’m talking a LOT. Because I’m pretty much a mess. But I’m a FUN mess!

Hey, you, the guy who was there, go ahead and get the rolling your eyes at me our of your system. Go ahead. You know you want to. 😉

“An Inky Incident”
By Kristin

A trip I took some years ago
Ended poorly — in 3 a.m. woe.

I traveled some distance to visit The Man
But my fun-filled weekend strayed far from the plan.

We started with dinner
He always provided so well
But later that night
I wound up in hell.

Asian stir-fry
— sweetened with laughter and fun —
Seemed great at the time
But, boy, was that dumb.

For into my dish,
Clearly not thinking,
I threw in some squid
Ones too small to be inking.

Out they came one by one
As he laughed at my face
Screwed up in disgust
At their too sour taste.

My laughter joined in
And in my napkin they lay
But their effect on my life
Would last to the next day.

Later that night
Drifting sweetly in sleep
Those spineless stinkers
Well, up they tried to creep.

I awoke with a start
Made a dash for the next room
Where at the base of a god
I wanted to swoon.

Out my offerings poured
As I gasped and I gagged.
And against the cool, hard white surface
I finally sagged.

I meant to keep quiet
Flush my shame away
But the boy
— thanks a lot —
Drug it out the next day.

That was two years ago
But we still like to laugh
And Magnolia BBQ never
Will again cross my path.

Apparently I was channeling Dr. Seuss like nobody’s business yesterday. I should invest in a red stripey hat for the next time — I’ll call it my Beatnik Bonnet. Lyricist’s Lid. Poet’s Stovepipe.
Also? I have yet to eat even calimari since. And I loved calimari at one point; what I do NOT love is food poisoning. So there ya have it.

That is all.


  1. That sounds miserable. I hope you’ll regain an appetite for calamari again. That’s good stuff!

    Loved your Dr. Seuss-ness!

  2. Awww thanks for the nice words about my blog!! So nice. 🙂

    And I’m with you…food poisoning is AWFUL! Isn’t it funny how it lasts with you forever and you can’t ever eat that food again after the experience!?!

    That’s how I am with cooked carrots.

    …and tequila.

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