Posted by: Kristy | February 13, 2009

Pressure points

This is not as relaxing as I had envisioned.

The whale noises are helping. Closing my eyes, listening to random nature music, letting the soft but not overpowering floral scent from the candle waft around my head …

Still not working.

That annoying beep coming from my purse in the corner is really hurtin’ the relaxing, healing, chilled-out vibe the spa is trying to create here.

Granted, it’s my own fault. I’m normally pretty obsessive about making sure my cell phone is off or on silent during meetings. (Not vibrate, silent, because it is SO annoying when someone’s phone is vibrating and everyone can hear it; it may as well be on the ring setting.) However, carrying a personal cell and a work cell is a lot to keep track of sometimes … which would lead to me forgetting to put my personal cell on silent before I went in for my massage Wednesday.

How did I come to be laying in a warm, soft bed-like device surrounded by an atmosphere that was an attempt to soothe me while someone pushed into my muscles hard enough to make me want to vomit? I believe it’s called STRESS.

The small (and not so small) things have been building and building until I’ve had an emotional outburst of the severe variety every day this week*, accompanied by the pounding headaches and the intense fatigue and the desire to punch a hole in a wall. So … yesterday I decided it was time to get over my self-consciousness, poor body image and fear of being naked (albeit covered) in front of someone and booked an hour of pure, uninterrupted silence and peace.

Which was promptly marred by that damn text message that caused the initial blip right after it became impossible for me to stand up and turn the stupid phone off. So I apologized and was embarrassed and Cindy and I moved on with the relaxation attempt.

Until 10 minutes later it beeped a reminder. And continued to beep at regular intervals for the remainder of the hour. As I’m trying to fall asleep, or at least think of things — ANYTHING — to make my brain happy: puppies, dancing, cute men, sunshine, vacations, chips and spinach dip, shoes. I was going to try to talk to God but I was kind of past conversation yesterday. He understands. Because he loves me … I don’t know why. But he does.

The things I was trying to clear from my already overloaded mind included: work, the dance studio, work, I’m lonely, work, men who are stressing me out, work, my ex (not to be confused with THE ex, who is a gentleman), work … and then it hit me.

I bet I know who that text is from.

Because of course he would text me, and I would leave my phone on, and it would beep … incessantly … during the hour I’m trying to rid my body of toxins … some of which are caused by him. Of course. It’s like he knows.

With my new knowledge firmly in place I proceeded to ignore the damn phone for the rest of my time, the time I set aside FOR ME. And when I got to my car and opened my phone, I didn’t really need to look to see that, ladies and gentlemen …

I was right.

The irony. Oh, it kills me.

Next time I treat myself, I’m leaving both phones in the car where they belong.

* Today I cried so hard I gave myself a nose bleed. While I was on the phone with my best friend. While I was driving. Talk about an adventure.

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Responses

  1. I am so sorry things aren’t going well right now. So, just to say, I hope things get better and take care.

  2. Kris, I’m sorry things are tough right now. Hang in there, you’re much stronger than you give yourself credit for. (try not to criticize the grammar in that sentence, i dare you.) will it make you feel any better if we have chips and spinach dip at movie night? i can make some, i think. -ammendment–i can attempt (and hopefully succeed) to make some.


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