Posted by: Kristy | February 10, 2009

Apparently my vocab is deficient. Damn private high school.

sev*er [sev*er]
— verb (used with object)
1. to separate (a part) from the whole, as by cutting or the like.
2. to divide into parts, esp. forcibly; cleave.
3. to break off or dissolve (ties, relations, etc.).
4. Law. to divide into parts; disunite (an estate, titles of a statute, etc.).
5. to distinguish; discriminate between.

Ex. “… we need to sever this relationship.”

I lift this example from an e-mail I received in November. You’ve all heard of it once or twice if you visit this blog EVER.

Now, perhaps my secondary schooling was substandard. However, I was of the opinion that the word “sever,” derived from the Middle English “severen,” basically means to spearate. Or cleave, if you will. I like cleave because it sounds as malicious and painful and bloody and Shakespearean as it was intended in this context.

Apparently, I was wrong. And I’m a writer by profession.

How embarassing.

Bearing my preconcieved notions in mind, imagine my surprise when I began receiving random text messages right after Christmas. Just to chat. Or such.

Wait. We’re supposed to talk? And, you know, be friends? Let me double check the definition of sever, cross reference it with all of the emotional healing I’ve been doing and get back with you.  OK, yes, how ARE you?

??? Huh ???

But whatev, I’m a big girl. I can be friends. Watch me mature in front of your eyes. What I don’t understand is the whole caring about me now, and SAYING you truly cared about me then, but not ACTING like you cared about me then, but I’m supposed to BELIEVE you cared about me then and that you STILL care about me … and I realize we all have problems but my poor little brain can’t take the logic puzzle anymore.

So the best part came today. When I received a text along the lines of “Why didn’t you text me yesterday to ask about (an event)?”

Holy, crap! I was supposed to text you?! Man, if only I had been able to read your mind (‘cuz I was so good at that when we were together) I would have saved myself a full 24 hours of worry and prayer and stress, as well as not checking my phone every 20 minutes, waiting for YOU to text ME to let me know you were OK from (said event). Man, I’m a cotton-headed ninnymuggins.

I get that you miss me and you’re suddenly realizing that when you told me “we need to sever this relationship” I took it to mean that I was no longer your girlfriend. If that was not what you intended, well … that’s how it came out and there’s really no going back now. (And if there IS I would like flowers to make up for missing Christmas AND my birthday AND our anniversary. And as pre-credit for Valentine’s Day. Thank you.)

And I still care enough about you that it matters to me how you are doing and what’s happening in your life. But I am no longer obligated to pour all of my emotional energy into you. In fact, according to my physician and the fact that I started passing out randomly when we were at our most stressful, it’s probably better if I DON’T let my emotions run rampant. So this whole only wanting me when you decide you want me? Is fine. But remember that there’s another side here, too. My side.

Sigh. But I’m glad you’re OK.

Carry on with the friendship. Because I can’t NOT care.

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Responses

  1. ninnymuggins? is that something they taught you in private school? sounds bizarre… maybe he didn’t realize just how much he was losing at the time. (note: above comment is not at all meant to imply that you should take him back or feel obligated to text freely ((which sounds a little dirty, imho)) ). sounds frustrating. sorry. care to vent over a good romantic comedy and some yummy munchies? my place, weekend of the 20 or 27th, you pick. deal? hang in there, ninnymuggins.

  2. dayuummm girl, you tell ‘im!

  3. […] I bet I know who that text is from. […]


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