Posted by: Kristy | January 19, 2009

I should learn to expect the unexpected by now.

This morning a friend from my old job called to tell me that one of our co-workers died during the weekend.

This alone is enough to make me sad. Even though he was older (in his late 60s, I think), Phil was one of those guys who you expected to haunt the Daily News office  long after all of us have moved on and everyone is getting their news beamed directly into their minds via tiny, microscopic wire service devices.

I figures he would become a fixture in his chair at the sports desk, wearing the same corduroys and polo shirt and leather bomber jacket — yelling at the computer, pounding the keyboard that wouldn’t work fast enough for him, yelling at me or another designer for help with InDesign because it won’t let him draw a text box. Interjecting his opinions into other people’s arguments with such force and randomness that you just roll your eyes and smile, waiting patiently for him to finish.

When he came waltzing over to my desk after I gave my two weeks three months notice it was so sweet to hear, “I hear you’re leaving us. Well, we’ll miss you. You’ll be very missed,” as he awkwardly patted my shoulder and shuffled off.

It’s always sad when someone close to you dies, even if they’re not necessarily your best friend, or even a very close friend. They’re still a friend, and the suddenness is one of the saddest parts.

It’s also made me think. How do you want to be remembered in this life? I just listed some of the ways I’ll remember Phil.

How will people remember me?

Will I be the dorky girl who was totally happy staring at a computer screen for HOURS designing the perfect front page for the election issue? The one who corrected her friends’ grammar and drove them all insane.

The short girl who wore spiky heels to report on the scene of an automobile collision. Who cried after particularly touching interviews.

The one who still is in love with an ex — to the point where every man who comes into her life two years after him is subconsciously compared, even if they don’t deserve to be because they’re totally capable of standing on their own as amazing? (Yeah, how’s that for a blogosphere confession? I’m working on getting over it, don’t worry.)

I want to be remembered for being passionate. When people talk about me at my funeral, I want them to laugh and tell funny stories about how I had so much energy and was so passionate about everything. Passionate about people, passionate about dance, passionate about my love for God, passionate about writing, passionate about wiener dogs … I want that to be a characteristic that defines me in life and in death.

How will you remember me? If the bad outweighs the good, let me know so I can fix it.

How do you want to be remembered?

We never tend to think about this stuff until we’re faced with it. Interesting, huh?


  1. Very spunky. I will definitely remember you for being spunky. Oh yeah, and the girl who railed me to the ground in one blow… all that dance muscle sure made you pack a whallop… of course that and the fact that I have a higher center of gravity didn’t help… 🙂 And I’ll remember you for always being blunt and unafraid about your faith in Jesus… which of course planted a seed in me… and lastly, I’ll remember you for taking the time to write blogs, but not send me a brief email in response to my emails. 😉

    How do I want to be remembered? Somebody who is interested in the details. Somebody who steps out of his way to minister and uplift another… somebody who is consistently positive… open… somebody who loves God over all… a vessel for Jesus… somebody who is passionate and zealous… a lover of truth… and lastly… a crazy headbanging music loving freak who air guitars and uses his steering wheel as a drum kit while driving down the road 😀

  2. I think I’ll always remember you spitting milk out across the lunch table (repeatedly, mind you) laughing about something or other. You have the greatest laugh: it’s catching. And I’ll remember your focus. The way you zoom in on what you want and push barriers out of the way astounds me, while I’m still working on figuring out what I want. And of course, your kindness. I don’t know a sweeter person, except maybe for Mike, when he wants to be.

    I’m still working on how I want to be remembered. I know how I don’t want to be remembered. I don’t want to be the crazy girl who bails on friends and appointments because she can’t get her head straight. (I think I just beat you in the online confession contest, btw.) In that vein, I’m so sorry. I’d like to explain it to you, like I said in the comment I left on my own blog, in person, but I think that should wait a little bit until things settle down with me. I don’t want to disappoint you again. In the meantime, please trust that I love you dearly and would never hurt you on purpose.

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