Posted by: Kristy | October 28, 2008

Channeling Dr. Suess

One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish stripey fish, gold fish.

So, I bought fish.

That’s right, plural.

I am the only living thing in my apartment. I kill plants. I’m not allowed to have dogs (or we all know I so would already own a wiener dog). I would like something to come home to at night — the few hours of the day I’m actually home.

That is how I’m so lonely I found myself in Meijer’s at 9:30 last night buying pets that only require maintenance approximately three minutes a day, on average.

Meet my new buddies. They are very good listeners.

I originally only wanted to buy Oscar.

How did I know he was an Oscar? Just call it intuition. Or randomness.

How did I know he was an Oscar? Just call it intuition. Or randomness.

But in response to my questions, “How do I keep him from dying in the first, oh, week I own him?” my new buddy, Erick, from Meijer said he needed a friend. Because I guess whatever breed this is (a clown something or other?) thrives more when in community. At least that’s according to the “what kind of fish this is” symbol key next to the tanks. (They also birth their young live instead of laying eggs according to this key, which is why I only bought one.)

So Erick talked me into buying Phillipe.

Phillipe has spunk. As much spunk as a fish can have. He's kind of skitzy. We're a great fit.

Phillipe has spunk. As much spunk as a fish can have.

Erick did not name Phillipe. Or Oscar. Welcome to the randomness of my mind.

My dad’s comment on their names — “A slob and a gay Frenchman?”

No, silly pants! An intelligent British chap and a romantic, sensitive artist (art-EE-st).

I followed the directions on my little “Beginners Guide to Owning Fish Starter Kit” but I still think the 45 minute drive and the move and all was a shock to their poor little systems. I say this because within my first 24 hours of owning them all Oscar has done was chill by the fake plant and try to keep himself from floating sideways. Really, at one point he was floating sideways, but not at the top of the tank so I think we’re OK.

Let’s hope they keep looking like this:

I’m like, two steps away from Crazy Cat Lady status. Yikes!

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