Posted by: Kristy | October 26, 2008

It always rains, doesn’t it?

I stayed home from church today and just spent that time alone in my apartment with my thoughts and my conversations with God. I watched a couple NOOMA videos and halfway through the new one I recently bought I stopped it and popped this one in.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “I love you. We’re gonna make it.“, posted with vodpod

This is where I am these days, in the rain. Have you ever had one of the moments Rob Bell talks about in this video? The kind where it’s so beautiful you just want to freeze it? Or not even a moment … a season of life. Where you look around and you tell God, “Whoa, I’m not sure how we got here or where you’re going with this but THANK YOU. Can we stay here?” And then suddenly it just starts POURING rain out of no where?

And you wonder what the hell happened — where’s the sunshine? Where are the people who were just sharing the good with you? And the loneliness is enough to suffocate you.

“I love you buddy. We’re gonna make it. Dad knows the way home.”

I may be searching desperately for cover with my umbrella inside out right now, but I’m waiting for the time when I can look back and see that this was one of the most deepest, intimate times in my life with my God. Because I can hear the promises, even though all I can see right now is the rain. The rain is my reality, pounding on my face and bringing winds that are ripping my insides into shreds. But I can hear the words of love being whispered in my ear.

I have been trying to read the same passage in Romans 8 every day this week, (vv. 26-39) and not only read it but apply it.

26In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for (A)we do not know how to pray as we should, but (B)the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words;

27and (C)He who searches the hearts knows what (D)the mind of the Spirit is, because He (E)intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

28And we know that [a]God causes (F)all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are (G)called according to His purpose.

29For those whom He (H)foreknew, He also (I)predestined to become (J)conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the (K)firstborn among many brethren;

30and these whom He (L)predestined, He also (M)called; and these whom He called, He also (N)justified; and these whom He justified, He also (O)glorified.

31(P)What then shall we say to these things? (Q)If God is for us, who is against us?

32He who (R)did not spare His own Son, but (S)delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?

33Who will bring a charge against (T)God’s elect? (U)God is the one who justifies;

34who is the one who (V)condemns? Christ Jesus is He who (W)died, yes, rather who was [b](X)raised, who is (Y)at the right hand of God, who also (Z)intercedes for us.

35Who will separate us from (AA)the love of [c]Christ? Will (AB)tribulation, or distress, or (AC)persecution, or (AD)famine, or (AE)nakedness, or (AF)peril, or sword?

36Just as it is written,
(AG)FOR YOUR SAKE WE ARE BEING PUT TO DEATH ALL DAY LONG;
WE WERE CONSIDERED AS SHEEP TO BE SLAUGHTERED.”

37But in all these things we overwhelmingly (AH)conquer through (AI)Him who loved us.

38For I am convinced that neither (AJ)death, nor life, nor (AK)angels, nor principalities, nor (AL)things present, nor things to come, nor powers,

39nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from (AM)the love of God, which is (AN)in Christ Jesus our Lord. (www.bible.com)

I look at v. 35 and think, I could allow the rain blinding me and pinpricking my face to keep me from absorbing the warmth of the arms that are tightly holding me, protecting me from the falling limbs and other larger obstacles that I don’t see. I can continue to allow the feelings of being cold and wet and alone overwhelm me. Or I can remember that I believe the Holy Spirit is alive and active and representing God inside me, and one of his purposes is to act on my behalf when I cannot muster the words for myself. And he acts in a much more powerful way than I can in my feeble repetitions of “God, I just don’t know. I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know. I’m tired of hurting. I don’t know.”

I’m waiting for the day when I can see past the rain.


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Responses

  1. thanks for sharing this; happy to have dropped by your site…


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