Posted by: Kristy | September 9, 2008

Made me take pause.

I read this, and I say I believe it … but do I act like I believe it? It seems almost too good to be true.

Passage Matthew 11:28-30:

28(A)Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.

29“Take My yoke upon you and (B)learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and (C)YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS.

30“For (D)My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

Weary? Yup. I’m so tired right now my eyes want to crash shut for a long time and it’s only 5:15 p.m. on a Tuesday. This is nothing. It may night be the kind of horrific mental and physical exhaustion I’ve experienced in the past (yay, God!) but I think my physical weariness stems from the emotional tropical storm I’ve been whirling around in like a dervish for the last three weeks. It’s felt like three years, to be honest. Three decades might be even more accurate.

Heavy laden? Yeah, my heart it heavy. There are a lot of thoughts flying around in my mind lately, especially as I enter into prayer these days. The past two days it’s been a little lighter because I’m so worn out I’m not sure if I have the spiritual and emotional strength to really pray. All of the doing-spiritual-battle prayer from the last month has kind of taken it out of me. Hardcore. But I just need to catch my breath. And call on some fresh wind, Holy Spirit style.

Take my yoke? Learn from me? And there comes rest? Whoo, buddy. I’m trying. I’m trying, Lord. I don’t know how. Show me how, that would probably help. I know one of the first places to start (more like continue) is letting go; relinquishing control. I’ve been doing that and that’s what’s been causing the weariness — it’s a struggle for me to let go. I have to fight against my own selfish ambition and pride in thinking I know what’s best. Well, you’ve taught me enough in the past almost month for me to realize yet again that I don’t know jack squat. And I have no idea where to go from here.

So I pray. Hard. And then pray harder. And then crash a little. And cry a lot. And go back to praying.

So, tell me more about this light burden and thing you call “rest” …

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