I received an e-mail from my grandma today asking, as always, for the grandkid’s Christmas wish-lists because the elves — she, my mom, my aunt and myself — are going shopping this weekend. I mean marathon shopping. It’s hardcore. So hardcore I can skip my cardio for two whole days.

Since I’m not a snarky woman at all and find it painful to string words together into complete sentences, clearly, I had the most fun writing my response.

The things I really want are tucked in there … but it’s not likely any of them will end up in my stocking. Which is why they’re called dreams, I suppose.

Which leads me to ask … what do you want for Christmas?

Dear Chief Elf  –

Thank you for taking time to find out what the good little boys and girls of the family want for Christmas. All I know is that I hear Kristin has been super good this year. Word on the street is she is exceptionally amazing. Also humble, for the record. Just thought I’d pass that on. 

Here are some suggestions to make your and the other elves’ tasks a bit easier. Please bear in mind that it was designed to be comprehensive for YOUR ease. I don’t want to come off as greedy — you know I appreciate everything you do SO much and don’t even need anything! (But I do have an unhealthy addiction to lattes and shoes, so I guess there you go.  )

As requested, these are a few of my favorite things to wish for this holiday season:

Clothes:
* Please keep in mind that I’m not as chunky as I used to be (praise the good Lord) and so what used to pass for “fitted” now is a bit too big to look professional. And professional is the name of the game nowadays.

[Let me interject here that I have a loving and well-meaning aunt who always buys me clothes that are wayyyyyy too big. So I figured a clause was necessary.]

* White House, Black Market — XS or 4 in tops, 2 or 4 in dresses (and I ADORE their dresses), 2 in this adorable gray velour blazer with a little ruffle at the cuff.

* Silver and black jewelry, especially earrings and chunky bracelets. I really like the fireball style that’s popular right now.

* A job in Columbus … I think God’s working on that one, though, so you might want to check with Him.

* A pink (or red), belted coat from Old Navy in XS. It’s kind of like a heavier trench. SO CUTE. I’m kind of tempted to buy it beforehand ……. but I’ll refrain. Sigh.

* I’m really in the market for a great sweater dress

* Something pretty and sparkly princess cut, V2 clarity, E grade set in platinum that might fit really well somewhere around my … ears.

[Ha. You thought I was gonna say "hand," huh? About 141 miles away from me there's a wonderful man reading this who almost had a heart attack. Sorry, my dear, I couldn't resist.]

* PJs from Victoria’s Secret in XS or S. They have the most comfy pajamas!

Other:
* “The Office” Season 5 on DVD

* “Burn Notice” Season 2 on DVD

* An arm band for my iPod nano for when I work out.

* A wiener dog named Earnie

* The soundtrack from “Glee.” Have you watched “Glee” yet, or don’t you get FOX in the North Pole? It’s hilarious. And the music is amazing. Just sayin’.

* A radar detector (I figured it’s going to end up in the Santa Letter so I may as well just say it now and laugh at myself. Hardy har har.)

[OK, so what happened was that after three years with a clean record -- and only one speeding ticket to my name -- I was pulled over ... twice ... within two hours. I was only speeding one of the times, honest! And I only got one ticket but ... it was a very, very bad day. Which the above-mentioned wonderful man successfully fixed with homemade Indian food and chocolate.]

Gift cards:
* STARBUCKS. I need to just purchase stock in the company.

* Barnes & Noble — I spend more time there than is healthy, and it doesn’t help that my boyfriend’s an enabler whose idea of a fun date is dinner and a bookstore. Which is why I adore him so.

* Cheesecake Factory (it’s started to become a fan favorite, especially on Sunday nights — the one in Polaris is right next to a B&N, so you see the appeal. And the danger!)

I hope that helps! See you Saturday for some hardcore shopping.

Kristin

What’s at the top of your list? And my favorite question of the holiday — what are you most excited to GIVE this year? Pray tell.