I received an e-mail from my grandma today asking, as always, for the grandkid’s Christmas wish-lists because the elves — she, my mom, my aunt and myself — are going shopping this weekend. I mean marathon shopping. It’s hardcore. So hardcore I can skip my cardio for two whole days.

Since I’m not a snarky woman at all and find it painful to string words together into complete sentences, clearly, I had the most fun writing my response.

The things I really want are tucked in there … but it’s not likely any of them will end up in my stocking. Which is why they’re called dreams, I suppose.

Which leads me to ask … what do you want for Christmas?

Dear Chief Elf  –

Thank you for taking time to find out what the good little boys and girls of the family want for Christmas. All I know is that I hear Kristin has been super good this year. Word on the street is she is exceptionally amazing. Also humble, for the record. Just thought I’d pass that on. 

Here are some suggestions to make your and the other elves’ tasks a bit easier. Please bear in mind that it was designed to be comprehensive for YOUR ease. I don’t want to come off as greedy — you know I appreciate everything you do SO much and don’t even need anything! (But I do have an unhealthy addiction to lattes and shoes, so I guess there you go.  )

As requested, these are a few of my favorite things to wish for this holiday season:

Clothes:
* Please keep in mind that I’m not as chunky as I used to be (praise the good Lord) and so what used to pass for “fitted” now is a bit too big to look professional. And professional is the name of the game nowadays.

[Let me interject here that I have a loving and well-meaning aunt who always buys me clothes that are wayyyyyy too big. So I figured a clause was necessary.]

* White House, Black Market — XS or 4 in tops, 2 or 4 in dresses (and I ADORE their dresses), 2 in this adorable gray velour blazer with a little ruffle at the cuff.

* Silver and black jewelry, especially earrings and chunky bracelets. I really like the fireball style that’s popular right now.

* A job in Columbus … I think God’s working on that one, though, so you might want to check with Him.

* A pink (or red), belted coat from Old Navy in XS. It’s kind of like a heavier trench. SO CUTE. I’m kind of tempted to buy it beforehand ……. but I’ll refrain. Sigh.

* I’m really in the market for a great sweater dress

* Something pretty and sparkly princess cut, V2 clarity, E grade set in platinum that might fit really well somewhere around my … ears.

[Ha. You thought I was gonna say "hand," huh? About 141 miles away from me there's a wonderful man reading this who almost had a heart attack. Sorry, my dear, I couldn't resist.]

* PJs from Victoria’s Secret in XS or S. They have the most comfy pajamas!

Other:
* “The Office” Season 5 on DVD

* “Burn Notice” Season 2 on DVD

* An arm band for my iPod nano for when I work out.

* A wiener dog named Earnie

* The soundtrack from “Glee.” Have you watched “Glee” yet, or don’t you get FOX in the North Pole? It’s hilarious. And the music is amazing. Just sayin’.

* A radar detector (I figured it’s going to end up in the Santa Letter so I may as well just say it now and laugh at myself. Hardy har har.)

[OK, so what happened was that after three years with a clean record -- and only one speeding ticket to my name -- I was pulled over ... twice ... within two hours. I was only speeding one of the times, honest! And I only got one ticket but ... it was a very, very bad day. Which the above-mentioned wonderful man successfully fixed with homemade Indian food and chocolate.]

Gift cards:
* STARBUCKS. I need to just purchase stock in the company.

* Barnes & Noble — I spend more time there than is healthy, and it doesn’t help that my boyfriend’s an enabler whose idea of a fun date is dinner and a bookstore. Which is why I adore him so.

* Cheesecake Factory (it’s started to become a fan favorite, especially on Sunday nights — the one in Polaris is right next to a B&N, so you see the appeal. And the danger!)

I hope that helps! See you Saturday for some hardcore shopping.

Kristin

What’s at the top of your list? And my favorite question of the holiday — what are you most excited to GIVE this year? Pray tell.

Last week Michael Buble (Remember? We adore him around here) released his new album “Crazy Love.”Here’s the video from a sweet, sweet song, “Haven’t Met You Yet.” I’m holding off buying the entire album; if Santa doesn’t bring it than I’ll get it after Christmas. We’ll see if I last that long!

more about “‘Crazy’ Good“, posted with vodpod

I’m in the process of streamlining my social networking to be most effective.

Also, I just like playing with new gadgets and software. The Boy is rubbing off on me in that regard.

I’m a bit tired of having eleventy billion tabs opened up in my Firefox browser all day: Facebook, two Twitter accounts, a Flickr account, Gmail, Gmail Reader, Gmail Calendar … my little eyeballs start bouncing back and forth like they’re in a game of Dodgeball by the end of the day!

So I started with TweetDeck and Twhirl. Granted, I’ve been using them for about a nano second each … so stay tuned for the pros and cons of each. There also are other formats that allow you to use multiple Twitter accounts and add in other social networking accounts, such as Facebook, so you’re interfacing with all of them at once. I like that. I’m all about streamlined efficiency.

I found One Forty, a cornucopia of Twitter applications. After I give TweetDeck and Twhirl a … whirl … I’ll definitely prowl One Forty for the next heavy weight contenders.

Stick around for score updates. Also, please feel free to share applications you’ve found useful in Operation Use Fewer Open Windows.

Nov. 14, 2009.

7 p.m.

Mark your calendar. You will want to be here.

Student Soiree is a high-energy fashion show that's going to blow the doors off hair and fashion in the area. Watch for more information ...

So here it is — the reason you have been achingly missing my presence, oh blogosphere. When I say it’s time I hire and assistant I’m not even being facetious. Maybe I used to be, but not anymore. For nearly two months I was in the throes of planning our grand opening event — yes, eight months after we opened for classes. It’s just the way things are done in business. Or maybe it’s just the hair industry. Regardless, I was charged with planning, executing and hostessing THE party of the summer around here.

After days of planning, stressing, organizing, meeting, swearing, crying, celebrating, purchasing, lying with my head on The Boy’s lap whining and moaning and complaining and stressing while he said, “It’ll be great, babe. You’ll see.” … I pulled it off. Well, we pulled it off, because it truly was a group effort.

Yeah, we rock. No denying it.

Here’s the press release I wrote after our Grand Opening. My favorite part is the photographs! Our students are so attractive and, well, awesome.

The glitz, glamour and energy predominantly found on London, Paris and Milan catwalks hit Toledo this week during the TONI&GUY Hairdressing Academy’s Grand Opening.

Photo by Diana Blackford Photography

The Sept. 17 event included a fashion show showcasing work by the academy’s more than 20 students. Models from John Casablancas Modeling and Personal Development Service displayed hair cuts, colour techniques and styles by TONI&GUY Hairdressing Academy students highlighting a range of styles from urban street looks to classic glamour. Cache provided dresses and jewelry for the show as models strutted across the stage to music spun by DJ Andy Hochmuth.

Hottttt. (Photo by Diana Blackford Photography)

Eight months after the academy held its first class on Jan. 5, this month’s grand opening event celebrated another milestone in the company’s 40 year history as the Toledo location became the ninth academy nationally. TONI&GUY Academies are constantly evolving artistically and commercially, offering the best in education and dynamic image. The TONI&GUY name is known worldwide and strives to assist all hairdressers to attain a fulfilling career in the hair industry. The unique design of every TONI&GUY Academy simulates a salon atmosphere, giving the student and client the feeling of walking into a high-end salon.

The more than 250 people in attendance included members of the Sylvania Area Chamber of Commerce, area stylists and salon owners and local business professionals. The event began with a ribbon-cutting ceremony outside the academy.

Those in attendance showed off their red carpet poses at the entrance photo shoot area, and enjoyed hors d’oeuvres and a wine bar, staffed by Brennan J. Stanford Bartending Service. A cake donated by Wixey’s Bakery featured a snapshot of the student body, complimented by coffee donated by Caribou Coffee. The more than 13,000 square-foot salon environment was dressed in Asian-chic flower arrangements of blood-red Gerbera daisies by Hafner Florist.

Some of the flower arrangements

We had an ice sculpture that looked like hair cutting shears!

TONI&GUY Hairdressing Academy Chief Operating Officer Kenny Gibson, who traveled from Santa Monica, Calif., to attend the grand opening, said he is confident in Toledo managers Bob and Karen Reichardt’s ability to help bring a higher level of education to the hair design industry in Toledo and beyond. He said the Reichardts’ more than 25 years as business owners will lend itself to promoting and maintaining TONI&GUY’s cultural alignment standards as strategic partners.

Photo by Diana Blackford Photography

The Toledo TONI&GUY Hairdressing Academy has grown from two students and two educators in January to include more than 25 students and six educators, as well as four additional staff and administrators.

“The chance to bring a business of this caliber to the Toledo area is phenomenal,” TONI&GUY Hairdressing Academy Recruiting Director Kristin Reichardt said. “TONI&GUY stylists are known around the world for being trend setters in the hair design industry, and we look for students with passion and ambition who will continue to push the envelope and become the best they can within their careers.

Photo by Diana Blackford Photography

“Tonight was a fantastic chance to show the community the caliber of students at TONI&GUY and to invite the public to participate in our drive to bring heightened energy, fashion and professionalism to Toledo and the Midwest as a whole,” she said. “We look forward to becoming a pivotal member of cultural activity in the area.”

For more photographs, check us out at http://www.flickr.com/photos/toniguytoledo/.

For a sneak peek at what’s been consuming my life lately …

Walking the red carpet last night. TONI&GUY Hairdressing Academy did my hair and make up. Stay tuned for details.

More photos and the huge, long story to follow.

Be excited.

Be very excited. I know I am!

I think Pete’s lonely.

I’m not sure why he would be. I mean, it’s not like less than a week ago he ATE his only friend.

Wait, that’s right … less than a week ago he ATE his only friend and now he’s paying the consequences of being by his lonesome all day.

I even told him I wasn’t buying him a new fish. Nuh-huh. No way, now how.

Nopes.

So now he just sits in a hump down beneath his bridge and looks at me. Comes out for meals but only pokes halfheartedly at the flakes as the float down onto his nose. It’s depressing, let me tell you.

Since when can a frog depress me? Since now, I guess.

So the hilarity of the situation comes at this point:

The Boy and I were at the German-American Festival this weekend, enjoying good (but not awesome) beer (since it wasn’t Irish), delish food and people watching to the extreme. I scarfed a wiener schnitzel sandwich while some frat boys sauntered by, complete with pop-collared polo shirts accented with boot-shaped beer glasses suspended from their necks by lanyards. He grabbed a bratwurst while a couple mullets and their attached rednecks passed a pitcher of beer around their circle. We split some pommes frites as two guys walked by with their beer guts spilling over their lederhosen and feathers perched jauntily in their felt hats.

Oh, Toledo. You kill me.

And then we stumbled on the children’s carnival rides area. Spinning carnival rides are a great idea to stick in the middle of a few hundred beer-guzzling adults. Let’s pound a pitcher and hop on the strawberries that twist in an ever-faster circle! Add some grease on a bun and take a turn on the twirling wheel that spins you upside down. That just creates a new game: Vaulting Vomit Dodging.

In the middle though I stopped and thought of nothing but Pete, for there, amidst lines of tiny glass bowls filled with water, was my chance to bring some sunshine back into my little frog’s life. Or some new nourishment to his little belly. Whatev.

“Win a Goldfish.”

Heck, it was $2 and I thought it would be fun to try landing a lopsided ping pong ball into a glass bowl the size of a drinking glass 5 feet away. Let’s win a fish, haha. Ha.

Ha.

Ha. Ha.

Let me introduce you to Gilbert.

The sad part is that I was playing along with three children who couldn’t be older than 2 years. And who also won fish. Look at us, we’re all winners.

Especially Gilbert. Who has no idea what he’s in for. Poor Gil. Is putting a third fish in the same bowl as Pete animal cruelty? I think maybe, quite possibly.

Only time will tell.

Hi. I just met Jonathan Bennett.

You know. Hot guy. “Mean Girls.” “Van Wilder.” HOTTTTT.

As in he came to the Academy. WHERE I WORK. Just to say hi. Because he’s friends with our product knowledge specialist. Yeah, friends. I know.

He’s very nice and non-stand offish. Kind of attractive. Just a normal guy. Possibly could be described as hot. With a billion Ts.

Guess what? He was glad to meet me. (That’s what he said. I’ll take it as truth.)

And my camera was no where to be found.

Sigh.

Happy Monday indeed.

Freaking. Stoked.

That’s what I am after a Facebook message I received today from the loverly Beast Girl. Oh, nothing big, really. Just letting me and Kritta know that she purchased her plane tickets to head to Chicago in October.

Ummm, SO EXCITED I SQUEALED OUT LOUD IN THE MIDDLE OF WALMART CAUSING THE PEOPLE WASTING 90 MINUTES IN THE WAITING ROOM WITH ME TO LOOK AT ME LIKE I’M NUTS.

Which, to be fair, I am nuts. In an adorable, endearing way, of course.

So, Seattle is coming to Chicago. Where we  plan on meeting up and kicking Chi-town’s butt as only three fantastic, young, hip single women can. My grandmother thinks I’m a bit nutty to drive to Chicago to meet two women I actually never have spoken with in person. I think she’s convinced I’m going to end up in pieces in a suitcase.

My boyfriend just shakes his head, tells me to have a good time and to actually come home.

I tell myself that this is the kind of adventure being young is all about and there’s no way in hell I’m going to miss out. These girls are my blogging BFFs. I like them. I like martinis. I like adventures and I like Chicago.

Bring it.

I hung up the phone with a curt, soft “Kay, ‘night.”

Flinging my Blackberry on the coffee table and burying my head in the couch cushion, I wrestled with the hot, aggrivated tears pressing at my eyelids with the force of the front row of a mosh pit. I got ready for bed an flopped back down to argue with myself.

You’re being a witch.

Shutup, it’s just been a long day. I’ll be better tomorrow.

You’re being totally unreasonable. Even if it’s only in your head.

I said shut UP. I don’t even know why I’m so exasperated. It’s just that every time I start to get settled inside, everything gets all jumbled up again.

Call back and be nice.

I’m not calling back. I’m going to bed. You’re gonna be quiet.

SIGH.

Tossing and turning, I started trying to sort everything out as God talked me to sleep. Emotions swirled around like a clothes dryer, hurt and uncertainty and frustration and fear tumbling together into a mess of self-pity. Minutes into my tirade I stopped ranting long enough to listen and three words slapped me back to shocked normalcy.

Love.

Is.

Patient.

..
..
..

Patient

Oh. Ouch.

A gift that is so difficult for me to exhibit or extend so much of the time, yet a gift I need exponentially from others. Especially from one person.

Like tonight. When I was being an unreasonable bitch, even if it only was on the inside. When I couldn’t see past my own self-focused thoughts and allowed assumptions to cloud my emotions instead of listening to someone who cares about me do nothing more than look out for my best interests. When I should have called back and been nice.

I’m gonna go chew on that for a while.