A local TV station today posted on its Web site an Associated Press story about two defendants pleading guilty in a federal racketeering case. (Click here for story)

The story’s nutgraph contained the following sentence:

Forty-7-year-old Ohio resident Donald Massey Jr. and 50-year-old Stephen J. Bailey from St. Albans entered the pleas Wednesday in U.S. District Court in Charleston.

Maybe the world of copy editing has changed since 18 months ago — except I have all the changes in my two, count them, TWO, trusty new-edition Associated Press Style Manuals — but the first word of that sentence made me cringe. Then I cried. Then I blogged.

Thus is my system for dealing with intellectual pain.

Oh, Associated Press. I adore you. I revere you. Why, AP, why?

It’s like I just found out Mother Theresa had a secret love affair.

(And no, I’m never dramatic, why do you ask?)

Dear USA Network,

Thank you so very much for the upcoming birthday present. I so look forward to opening it tonight at 10 p.m. It’s difficult to focus on my work, I’m so excited.

I can’t tell you how honored I am that you chose to begin new episodes of “Burn Notice” the day before my birthday. For months, I have salivated, waiting for this beautiful cake layered with wit, explosions, MacGuiver-like solutions to crime-induced problems, charm and, of course, salsa music and sunshine. Please include an extra top coat of Michael Weston’s sexy smile; some sarcasm sprinkles would add an extra something special, too.

All in all, I anticipate nothing less than a palate-pleasing blend of “Burn Notice” spiciness, and will repay you by continuing to loyally do my part to boost your network ratings and DVD set sales.

Thanks again for making turning 26 a little less painful!

Please give Jeffrey Donovan my love. (Say hi to Gabrielle and Bruce, too.)

Sincerely,

Kristin

I’m sure the majority of people between the ages of 100 and 20 have seen black-and-white footage of girls screaming and swooning, their bouffant hair-dos brushing against the chain link fence keeping their fainting, quivering selves from mauling John, Paul, Ringo and George with their passion-fueled hysteria.

If The Beatles were a group of hairdressers instead of a group of musicians, a similar — but distinctly less insane — type of energy would erupt here in Toledo this March.

From March 7-8, members of the TONI&GUY Artistic Team, including the son of co-founder Guy Mascolo, will teach a 2-day advanced course on the progression of the 2009 New Puritan collection.

Meet Zak Mascolo.

He’s the cute one with the spiky hair on the right.

For 15 years, Zak has served as a TONI&GUY stylist and leader of the TONI&GUY Artistic Team, based in New York City.  Zak has been the driving force behind TONI&GUY’s last two collections. The former NAHA winner and National Artistic Director approaches education with customization in mind. Whether a stylist is just starting or is a seasoned professional, Zak has a talent for taking every hairdresser to the next level. Having worked on every level within the TONI&GUY empire, Zak is setting the creative and artistic direction for the company.

Next, meet Joseph Marzioli.

He’s the cute one on the left with the cheeky grin.

Joseph heads the advanced education team at the Santa Monica, Calif., TONI&GUY Hairdressing Academy as the Advanced Education Director. He also serves as a National Artistic Team member, and started working with TONI&GUY more than 15 years ago. Having traveled across the globe working on celebrities, photo shoots and TONI&GUY collections, Joseph  always is looking to fashion for his inspiration. He infuses each class with high energy and the intent to make the information as accessible as possible giving stylists the tools they need to achieve their desired end result.

Meet Darian Bishop.

(This is Darian’s NAHA award-winning avant garde work, not Darian herself.)

Fresh off of her 2009 NAHA Avant Garde win, this former TONI&GUY graduate and Dallas Advanced Education Director says she is excited to be hitting the road. Always looking to leave stylists inspired with something to take back into their salons she loves sharing ideas, inspiration and techniques that will advance the hairdresser. Darian was also one of the creators of TONI&GUY’s latest collection the New Puritan.

Meet Kristin.

She’s the cute girl in the middle who happens to be writing this. Kristin is the recruiting director at the Toledo, Ohio TONI&GUY Hairdressing Academy and is very excited to be able to bring such talent, vision and inspiration as Zak, Joseph and Darian exhibit to share with Toledo-area hairstylists.

Zak and Joseph are just such nice guys, I like that I’m in the photo. Do you see my bouffant hair-do and my swooning? I told you, like the Beatles.

The other members of The Beatles of the hairdressing world are not coming — Bruno Mascolo and Anthony Mascolo (their Zak’s uncles) and also are co-founders of TONI&GUY.

Meet Bruno …

He’s the one in the jaunty hat. (Paul and Laurel also are in this photo. They are phenomenal giants in the industry, as well, and so incredibly kind.)

Oh, is that? Yep, there’s Kristin.

… and Anthony … the Mick Jagger of hair; Mr. He’s Won London Hairdresser of the Year a Bazillion Times.

Aaaaaan, there’s Kristin again.  Oh, yeah.

Anyway, back to the advanced training.

This two-day class only has 17 slots open, so interested stylists need to act quickly!

TiGi InCrowd discounts apply, as well as discounts to salons who bring four or more stylists to the class.

Call 419.TONI.GUY for more information. To register, e-mail ahunter@toniguy.com.

See you in March!

At current count I have 552 Facebook “friends.”

Yes, 552.

(In my weekend job you also can catch me singing “Popular” in frilly pink dress chasing a witch with moss-coloured skin and a wicked set of pipes.)

They come from high school and college. My former job and via various clubs and organizations. Some I met for 20 minutes and had some personality connection with them for a nano-second. Others I have known for more than 15 years. (My best friend from the fifth grade now is married, a mother of two and living in Illinois. Thanks, Facebook.)

I share in the new friendships and adventures of my friends who have left Ohio and spread across the country — or even world. I indulge my nosy side and gather intel on acquaintances and acquaintances of acquaintances (let’s be honest, we all have a nosy side and we all love to indulge in Facebook stalking).

I connect with students and potential students and models and potential business cohorts. That is where it becomes truly useful. We as business professionals are spoiled by the ease with which we can meet and set up lunches and happy hours and other networking events. We can send out mass meeting invitations and spread promotional material with fireball speed.

Social media networking truly has become virus-like — hence the definition of viral — but not all viruses are detrimental. It’s all in manipulating virus cells to work for your purpose rather than against it.

When it comes to using Facebook and Twitter in its proper form, I try to keep myself within the following parameters:

1. Provide enough honest information to be relatable and fit within what you are willing to discuss with business associates. You are a real person with a real personality and real interests. You even have a real family and maybe a real significant other. There’s no shame in that, people.

Just watch what you share. Your mad desire for a pet wiener dog named Earnie? Could be a cute conversation starter. Your recent bout with the local ER in blow-by-blow detail? Maaaaybe not so necessary.

2. Pay attention to who your business associates are and provide honest, genuine information that relates to them. I work with high school seniors and college students or recent college graduates. They totally care that I share their passion for Guinness, Indian food and “America’s Next Top Model” reruns.

They don’t necessarily care that I am a fairly consistent conservative, nor do they probably care that I strive to follow Jesus’ teachings as he gave them — I include that part because it’s important to me. Which brings me to …

3. Stay true to yourself.

People can smell insincerity a mile away. No one even wants to be virtual “friends” with you if you smell like a fake jerk.

4. Strike a balance between friending, fireball marketing and farming.

I try not to make every single status and post about my job. That can be a little draining and make it look like I have a one-track mind. It’s OK to create and join conversations. I even play Farmville once in a while. As long as the non-work activity doesn’t drown out the work-related activity, the other interaction adds to the relatable factor.

Plus, it’s just fun.

5. Remember that this is about having a conversation. Talk to people; don’t talk at people. No one likes talking about anyone more than they like talking about themselves. The more you ask, the more they talk; the more interest you show, the more they value your friendship — and virtual friendship can always develop into more.

The amount of information you share online demands the same discretion applied in budding romances; give enough to provide a glimpse of who you are but keep a high enough wall so as not to be burned immediately.

People who complain that there is no privacy on the Internet have a point but they can help themselves. Most people — hackers and their ilk not included because they can find a needle in a binary haystack — only need to know what you might share at an after-works happy hour and that level of information is up to the provider.

The masses’ curiosity drives some people insane. These people who guard their privacy think it’s ridiculous that some people would demand more information than that which already is provided. The Boy and I have a joke that nothing is official until it is on Facebook — such an emphasis is placed on sharing sensitive information that some users act as if Facebook is the new word of God. This is one reason he and I specifically are not “Facebook official” when it comes to our relationship. It’s the principle of the matter.

“There are photos,” Mr. Indignant says. “I’m in them; you’re in them. People can put two and two together. What does it matter, anyway?”

It riles him up. I just chuckle. The entire conundrum makes me LOL — out loud, even.

What does it matter, indeed?

It doesn’t. The information provided in such capacity can be completely harmless; the societal problem comes when people don’t know that the information they post today can come back to bite them in the future — like in two years when their potential CEO finds photos from their graduation frat party.

Start small and use solid filters every time you post something new. Is this something you would want your boss to read? Splashed across CNN? Your future mother-in-law reading? Your grandma reading?

There’s still hope for society to ditch the frivolous and embrace the effectiveness of Facebook and its kin. I’m intrigued to see where we go with it.

*****

Me: Are you OK if I cancel our relationship?

Dan: What?!

You’re breaking up with me?!?!

Me: Yes. On Facebook. Which means EVERYTHING.

But don’t worry; I’ll still make out with you.

Obsessed.

That is the only way to describe my view on communication.

I adore communicating. I would rather over share information than under-share. Words make my heart go pitter-patter. Words get me so turned on I become Ali Larter-esque obsessed. A beautiful sentence structure is my Idris Elba. (Yes, English language, I’m watching you. From the shadows. Scared, yet?)

Some people do not share my, erm, passion for information distribution.

Namely, my boyfriend. He’s super private like that.

I view social networking medium as a means of connectivity; no, not real, intense, honest connectivity. I don’t claim to truly know and be known via electronic waves of information packets zipping across cyberland. I do, however, view Twitter and Facebook and LinkedIn and other such information vehicles as great starting points by which to build relationships — and in my line of work relationships are the nitty-gritty of what builds business.

(Which is why they say love is a battlefield, I’m sure. Even if it’s just the love of encouraging students’ passion for creating amazingly successful and lucrative and significant careers as hairdressers.)

I have had the most fun (honest, the absolute most) this last year in trying to figure out how to take the social aspect of “social media” and turn it into “ways to be social while using media and integrating it into a business model by which to create effective relationships.” (Say that three times fast.)

They are fantastic ways to keep up on multiple people’s lives in a running real-time ticker. Glean information for conversation starters. Discover ways to pray for people. Send a quick taser-burst of affection in birthday wishes and baby congratulations.

In turn, they are awesome for keeping multiple people in the arms-length loop of your own life. Vent frustrations from the work day in a quick status. Discover your own Five Degrees of Separation between coworkers and friends and relatives. Share visuals from vacation and celebrations and job portfolios.

When used properly, they have a very real and valid place in the way society conducts interaction.

However, I agree with such opinions that view Facebook as a means of creating faux intimacy with masses of people, spreading as much information to as many people as possible to create as many contrived friendships as possible.

* You love “Glee?” Holy, mole, I love “Glee!” We must have been separated at birth!

* Your brother’s best friend’s sister was roommates with my sorority sister’s ex-fiance’s eighth-grade teacher’s dog walker? Sa-weet! You soooo are joining my Top Friends at the No. 3 spot.

** Join us tomorrow for
“Facebook and the Desecration of Society: A Theory, Part II **

I received an e-mail from my grandma today asking, as always, for the grandkid’s Christmas wish-lists because the elves — she, my mom, my aunt and myself — are going shopping this weekend. I mean marathon shopping. It’s hardcore. So hardcore I can skip my cardio for two whole days.

Since I’m not a snarky woman at all and find it painful to string words together into complete sentences, clearly, I had the most fun writing my response.

The things I really want are tucked in there … but it’s not likely any of them will end up in my stocking. Which is why they’re called dreams, I suppose.

Which leads me to ask … what do you want for Christmas?

Dear Chief Elf  –

Thank you for taking time to find out what the good little boys and girls of the family want for Christmas. All I know is that I hear Kristin has been super good this year. Word on the street is she is exceptionally amazing. Also humble, for the record. Just thought I’d pass that on. 

Here are some suggestions to make your and the other elves’ tasks a bit easier. Please bear in mind that it was designed to be comprehensive for YOUR ease. I don’t want to come off as greedy — you know I appreciate everything you do SO much and don’t even need anything! (But I do have an unhealthy addiction to lattes and shoes, so I guess there you go.  )

As requested, these are a few of my favorite things to wish for this holiday season:

Clothes:
* Please keep in mind that I’m not as chunky as I used to be (praise the good Lord) and so what used to pass for “fitted” now is a bit too big to look professional. And professional is the name of the game nowadays.

[Let me interject here that I have a loving and well-meaning aunt who always buys me clothes that are wayyyyyy too big. So I figured a clause was necessary.]

* White House, Black Market — XS or 4 in tops, 2 or 4 in dresses (and I ADORE their dresses), 2 in this adorable gray velour blazer with a little ruffle at the cuff.

* Silver and black jewelry, especially earrings and chunky bracelets. I really like the fireball style that’s popular right now.

* A job in Columbus … I think God’s working on that one, though, so you might want to check with Him.

* A pink (or red), belted coat from Old Navy in XS. It’s kind of like a heavier trench. SO CUTE. I’m kind of tempted to buy it beforehand ……. but I’ll refrain. Sigh.

* I’m really in the market for a great sweater dress

* Something pretty and sparkly princess cut, V2 clarity, E grade set in platinum that might fit really well somewhere around my … ears.

[Ha. You thought I was gonna say "hand," huh? About 141 miles away from me there's a wonderful man reading this who almost had a heart attack. Sorry, my dear, I couldn't resist.]

* PJs from Victoria’s Secret in XS or S. They have the most comfy pajamas!

Other:
* “The Office” Season 5 on DVD

* “Burn Notice” Season 2 on DVD

* An arm band for my iPod nano for when I work out.

* A wiener dog named Earnie

* The soundtrack from “Glee.” Have you watched “Glee” yet, or don’t you get FOX in the North Pole? It’s hilarious. And the music is amazing. Just sayin’.

* A radar detector (I figured it’s going to end up in the Santa Letter so I may as well just say it now and laugh at myself. Hardy har har.)

[OK, so what happened was that after three years with a clean record -- and only one speeding ticket to my name -- I was pulled over ... twice ... within two hours. I was only speeding one of the times, honest! And I only got one ticket but ... it was a very, very bad day. Which the above-mentioned wonderful man successfully fixed with homemade Indian food and chocolate.]

Gift cards:
* STARBUCKS. I need to just purchase stock in the company.

* Barnes & Noble — I spend more time there than is healthy, and it doesn’t help that my boyfriend’s an enabler whose idea of a fun date is dinner and a bookstore. Which is why I adore him so.

* Cheesecake Factory (it’s started to become a fan favorite, especially on Sunday nights — the one in Polaris is right next to a B&N, so you see the appeal. And the danger!)

I hope that helps! See you Saturday for some hardcore shopping.

Kristin

What’s at the top of your list? And my favorite question of the holiday — what are you most excited to GIVE this year? Pray tell.

Last week Michael Buble (Remember? We adore him around here) released his new album “Crazy Love.”Here’s the video from a sweet, sweet song, “Haven’t Met You Yet.” I’m holding off buying the entire album; if Santa doesn’t bring it than I’ll get it after Christmas. We’ll see if I last that long!

more about “‘Crazy’ Good“, posted with vodpod

I’m in the process of streamlining my social networking to be most effective.

Also, I just like playing with new gadgets and software. The Boy is rubbing off on me in that regard.

I’m a bit tired of having eleventy billion tabs opened up in my Firefox browser all day: Facebook, two Twitter accounts, a Flickr account, Gmail, Gmail Reader, Gmail Calendar … my little eyeballs start bouncing back and forth like they’re in a game of Dodgeball by the end of the day!

So I started with TweetDeck and Twhirl. Granted, I’ve been using them for about a nano second each … so stay tuned for the pros and cons of each. There also are other formats that allow you to use multiple Twitter accounts and add in other social networking accounts, such as Facebook, so you’re interfacing with all of them at once. I like that. I’m all about streamlined efficiency.

I found One Forty, a cornucopia of Twitter applications. After I give TweetDeck and Twhirl a … whirl … I’ll definitely prowl One Forty for the next heavy weight contenders.

Stick around for score updates. Also, please feel free to share applications you’ve found useful in Operation Use Fewer Open Windows.

Nov. 14, 2009.

7 p.m.

Mark your calendar. You will want to be here.

Student Soiree is a high-energy fashion show that's going to blow the doors off hair and fashion in the area. Watch for more information ...

So here it is — the reason you have been achingly missing my presence, oh blogosphere. When I say it’s time I hire and assistant I’m not even being facetious. Maybe I used to be, but not anymore. For nearly two months I was in the throes of planning our grand opening event — yes, eight months after we opened for classes. It’s just the way things are done in business. Or maybe it’s just the hair industry. Regardless, I was charged with planning, executing and hostessing THE party of the summer around here.

After days of planning, stressing, organizing, meeting, swearing, crying, celebrating, purchasing, lying with my head on The Boy’s lap whining and moaning and complaining and stressing while he said, “It’ll be great, babe. You’ll see.” … I pulled it off. Well, we pulled it off, because it truly was a group effort.

Yeah, we rock. No denying it.

Here’s the press release I wrote after our Grand Opening. My favorite part is the photographs! Our students are so attractive and, well, awesome.

The glitz, glamour and energy predominantly found on London, Paris and Milan catwalks hit Toledo this week during the TONI&GUY Hairdressing Academy’s Grand Opening.

Photo by Diana Blackford Photography

The Sept. 17 event included a fashion show showcasing work by the academy’s more than 20 students. Models from John Casablancas Modeling and Personal Development Service displayed hair cuts, colour techniques and styles by TONI&GUY Hairdressing Academy students highlighting a range of styles from urban street looks to classic glamour. Cache provided dresses and jewelry for the show as models strutted across the stage to music spun by DJ Andy Hochmuth.

Hottttt. (Photo by Diana Blackford Photography)

Eight months after the academy held its first class on Jan. 5, this month’s grand opening event celebrated another milestone in the company’s 40 year history as the Toledo location became the ninth academy nationally. TONI&GUY Academies are constantly evolving artistically and commercially, offering the best in education and dynamic image. The TONI&GUY name is known worldwide and strives to assist all hairdressers to attain a fulfilling career in the hair industry. The unique design of every TONI&GUY Academy simulates a salon atmosphere, giving the student and client the feeling of walking into a high-end salon.

The more than 250 people in attendance included members of the Sylvania Area Chamber of Commerce, area stylists and salon owners and local business professionals. The event began with a ribbon-cutting ceremony outside the academy.

Those in attendance showed off their red carpet poses at the entrance photo shoot area, and enjoyed hors d’oeuvres and a wine bar, staffed by Brennan J. Stanford Bartending Service. A cake donated by Wixey’s Bakery featured a snapshot of the student body, complimented by coffee donated by Caribou Coffee. The more than 13,000 square-foot salon environment was dressed in Asian-chic flower arrangements of blood-red Gerbera daisies by Hafner Florist.

Some of the flower arrangements

We had an ice sculpture that looked like hair cutting shears!

TONI&GUY Hairdressing Academy Chief Operating Officer Kenny Gibson, who traveled from Santa Monica, Calif., to attend the grand opening, said he is confident in Toledo managers Bob and Karen Reichardt’s ability to help bring a higher level of education to the hair design industry in Toledo and beyond. He said the Reichardts’ more than 25 years as business owners will lend itself to promoting and maintaining TONI&GUY’s cultural alignment standards as strategic partners.

Photo by Diana Blackford Photography

The Toledo TONI&GUY Hairdressing Academy has grown from two students and two educators in January to include more than 25 students and six educators, as well as four additional staff and administrators.

“The chance to bring a business of this caliber to the Toledo area is phenomenal,” TONI&GUY Hairdressing Academy Recruiting Director Kristin Reichardt said. “TONI&GUY stylists are known around the world for being trend setters in the hair design industry, and we look for students with passion and ambition who will continue to push the envelope and become the best they can within their careers.

Photo by Diana Blackford Photography

“Tonight was a fantastic chance to show the community the caliber of students at TONI&GUY and to invite the public to participate in our drive to bring heightened energy, fashion and professionalism to Toledo and the Midwest as a whole,” she said. “We look forward to becoming a pivotal member of cultural activity in the area.”

For more photographs, check us out at http://www.flickr.com/photos/toniguytoledo/.